DCC Funnels in Hyperborea 3E

 Editorial Note: Hyperborea is a love letter to Appendix N mainstay Clark Ashton Smith's Hyperborea cycle, which is in turn a love letter to the works of Robert E. Howard and H. P. Lovecraft. In efforts to achieve that classic pulp literature feel, it often cleaves too closely to the source material - in particular the racial politics of those Appendix N authors, which borders on the phrenological. Pict Half-Blood and Esquimaux, in particular, are extraordinarily racist and not merely a "product of their time," if there is such a thing. The Historical Analog Gaming Society believes that while art and artists can be entertaining, influential and enjoyable despite having problematic or offensive content, that problematic and offensive content needs to at least be acknowledged if not discussed. We haven't changed anything in the text for our playthrough, but there are elements that give icks, so content warnings for racism apply.

 The 0-level funnel is unquestionably my favorite part of making characters for DCC, and I've been known over the last few years of gaming to (successfully or not, thematically appropriate or not) shoehorn 0-level funnel mechanisms into every other game I am allowed to run. Hyperborea 3E is no exception, and with the HAGS getting ready for a Hyperborea campaign I was excited to introduce the girls to the flat, hexagonal world adrift in the infinite Black Gulf through a good 'ole fashioned funnel (Harley Stroh's wonderful Beneath the Well of Brass, which narrowly beat out the similarly superb Sailors on a Starless Sea, also by Stroh).

 There is already a (quite good!) d%/d12 table to determine racial ancestry for Hyperborea however nothing much to establish profession. My approach was to determine the percentiles of each racial background so as to assign that many professionals, then fudge the numbers a bit to account for the 0.004% chance of rolling one of the ancillary races. The trained weapons and trade goods (and indeed, the occupations themselves) are either from the DCC Core Rulebook p.22-23, or from Hubris p.10-12.

It should be noted that there are no actual mechanical effects to racial background (thank God) but I am philosophically incapable of not over-complicating things, so here we are.

1. Common academic; bust of a historical figure (as club), history book
2. Common bailiff; short sword, book of law
3. Common caravan guard; short sword, linen (1 yard)
4. Common ditch digger; shovel (as staff), fine dirt (1 lbs)
5. Common eunuch; club, fine clothes
6. Common farmer; pitchfork (as spear), hen
7. Common gambler; club, dice
8. Common healer; club, holy water (1 vial)
9. Common indentured servant; staff, locket
10. Common jeweler; dagger, gem (20 gp)
11. Common locksmith; dagger, fine tools
12. Common mercenary; longsword, studded leather
13. Common noble; longsword, gold ring (20 gp)
14. Common orphan; club, rag doll
15. Common porter; club, broom
16. Common rope maker; dagger, rope (100')
17. Common scribe; dart, parchment (10 sheets)
18. Common trapper; sling, animal hide
19. Common urchin; club, begging bowl
20. Common weaver; dagger, fine clothes
21. Amazon bowyer; short bow, thick string (15')
22. Amazon executioner; great ax, black hood
23. Amazon hunter; longbow, hunting dog
24. Amazon mystic; dagger, oracular bones
25. Amazon spy; short sword, poison ring
26. Amazon soldier; spear, studded leather
27. Atlantean (roll 1d20 as Common)
28. Atlantean (roll 1d20 as Common)
29. Esquimaux animal trainer; club, trained dog
30. Esquimaux butcher; cleaver (as hand ax), side of beef
31. Esquimaux corpse gatherer; shovel (as club), wheelbarrow
32. Esquimaux entrails reader; dagger, silver bowl (10 sp)
33. Esquimaux herder; staff, reindeer
34. Esquimaux shaman; mace, hallucinogenic mushrooms
35. Hyperborean (roll 1d20 as Common)
36. Hyperborean (roll 1d20 as Common)
37. Ixian alchemist; staff, oil (1 flask)
38. Ixian cultist; dagger, black leather cloak
39. Ixian heathen; bone (as club), seditious tome
40. Ixian physician; dagger, leeches
41. Ixian snake handler; tongs (as club), adder in a hempen sack
42. Ixian wizard's apprentice; dagger, black grimoire
43. Kelt astronomer; dagger, astrolabe
44. Kelt blacksmith; hammer (as club), steel tongs
45. Kelt caravan driver; crossbow, drover's whip
46. Kelt fortune-teller; dagger, tarot deck
47. Kelt gladiator; warhammer, small shield
48. Kelt herbalist; club, herbs (1 lbs)
49. Kelt miller/baker; club, flour (1 lbs)
50. Kelt outlaw; short sword, leather armor
51. Kelt wrangler; club, horse with saddle
52. Kimmerian armorer; hammer (as club), iron sallet
53. Kimmerian carpenter; hand ax, wooden stool
54. Kimmerian grave digger; shovel (as staff), wedding ring (10 gp)
55. Kimmerian ostler; staff, bridle
56. Kimmerian scout; short bow, pony
57. Kimmerian wet nurse; club, thick blanket
58. Kimmeri-Kelt atillator; crossbow, pavaise
59. Kimmeri-Kelt cutpurse; dagger, stolen purse (1d20 gp)
60. Kimmeri-Kelt squire; longsword, livery
61. Kimmeri-Kelt (roll 1d8+1 as Kelt)
62. Kimmeri-Kelt (roll 1d6 as Kimmerian)
63. Pict anarchist; shortsword, seditious pamphlets
64. Pict beekeeper; staff, jar of honey
65. Pict cheesemaker; cudgel (as staff), hunk of cheese
66. Pict herald; staff, speaking trumpet
67. Pict jester; dart, silk clothes
68. Pict miner; pickax (as club), helmet with candle
69. Pict performer; dagger, sack with 1 gp 20 sp
70. Pict woodcutter; hand ax, bundle of wood
71. Pict Half-Blood artist; dart, paint brush
72. Pict Half-Blood confidence artist; dagger, quality cloak
73. Pict Half-Blood gongfarmer; trowel (as dagger), sack of night soil
74. Pict Half-Blood mendicant; club, cheese dip
75. Pict Half-Blood monk; staff, candle and incense
76. Pict Half-Blood smuggler; shortsword, illicit drugs
77. Pict Half-Blood slave; club, strange-looking rock
78. Pict Half-Blood slave-taker; crossbow, net
79. Pict Half-Blood (roll 1d8 as Pict)
80. Viking barber; dagger, scissors
81. Viking boatman; oar (as club), nautical compass
82. Viking brewer; club, cask of mead
83. Viking cartographer; dagger, map (random area)
84. Viking merchant; dagger, 4 gp, 14 sp, 27 cp
85. Viking skald; dagger, lyre
86. Viking thrall; club, strange-looking rock
87. Viking thrall-taker; truncheon (as club), rawhide rope (100')
88. Viking tax collector; longsword, 100 cp
89. Anglo-Saxon (roll 1d20 as Common)
90. Carolingian Frank (roll 1d20 as Common)
91. Esquimaux-Ixian (roll 1d12; 1-6 as Esquimaux, 7-12 as Ixian)
92. Greek (roll 1d20 as Common)
93. Lapp (roll 1d6 as Esquimaux)
94. Lemurian (roll 1d20 as Common)
95. Moor (roll 1d20 as Common)
96. Mu (roll 1d20 as Common)
97. Oon experiment; bizarre metal pole (as spiked staff), strange small beeping metallic box
98. Roman (roll 1d20 as Common)
99. Tlingit (roll 1d8 as Pict)
100. Yakut (roll 1d6 as Esquimaux)

- Concordia